Decoding “Womanspeak”

Women frequently speak in code around men. Below we decode women’s most frequently used expressions into language that’s the actual truth:

  1. “Nothing is wrong” = Something big is upsetting her and the fact that you can’t guess what it is, just pissed her off.
  2. “I normally don’t do this” = She has many times, just not with you yet
  3. “Fine” = She is anything but fine… no matter what context it is used it, it NEVER means all is well.
  4. “It is up to you” = You better not make the wrong decision or you are dead meat.
  5. “Are you listening to me?” = If she says this, you are already screwed, she knows you are not listening
  6. “Let’s just be friends” = She isn’t attracted to you at all and is trying to let you down easily
  7. “Take care” = “F” off
  8. “Good for you” = You suck (driven by feelings of jealousy)
  9. “Are you a Player?” = She thinks that you are, and there’s no way you’re going to convince her otherwise
  10. “What do you want to do?” = You better come up with a plan fast
  11. “We need to talk” = You are in trouble. You are either getting dumped or thrown into the dog house
  12. “I will be ready in a minute” = Sit down; she is not even close to being ready
  13. “Not tonight I have a headache/ I’m on my period” = Don’t even think about getting “lucky”, she doesn’t want to have sex with you
  14. “How do I look?” = Unless you want a fight that would rival a nuclear war, choose your words wisely
  15. “We are moving too fast” = She is seeing other guys and is waiting to see if she can get better than you
  16. “I think we need some space” = She hopes you get lost in it
  17. “Is this just a fling?” = Are you seeing someone else
  18. “I don’t want to talk about it” = Keep asking, she likes and needs the attention
  19. “If you really want me to” = You are sooo going to owe her; she doesn’t want to
  20. “You are so sweet” = She isn’t that into you
  21. “Go ahead, it’s OK” = She is not happy about you going
  22. “I’ll try anything once” = She doesn’t want to do it, but will do so anyway
  23. “Where do you see yourself in five years?” = Do you see yourself with her in five years?
  24. “Do you want kids one day?” = I want to have your baby. Are you onboard?
  25. “How many women have you been with before?” = It’s not about the number; she wants to know where she ranks (it’s an insecurity-based question)