Tag Archives: courting

The one thing that will set you apart from her other first dates

You know what women’s biggest complaint is on first dates with men?

It’s that they talk nonstop about their job.

Men have no idea how disinterested most women are in the careers we’re in. What matters to them is only that (a) you have a job, and (b) you can provide for yourself (you’re stable). Women don’t share the same enthusiasm guys do about work. In fact, most women don’t like to work, period, and are looking for a way out– their meal ticket. This covers about 85% of women, by the way. So it’s foolish for men to expect women to get interested in their professions. They don’t.

Women know that guys whose world is centered around their careers are self-centered and lack emotional depth. So if guys are giving a monologue on how great they are at their profession, women will wonder: “Will he have time for me?” Which is, by the way, one of women’s greatest sources of insecurity and concern (“Where will I fit in?”).

So with this knowledge, your future first dates will be memorable to the women you’re with. They will actually look forward to seeing you again, as you’re the first guy in a long time who actually talked with her instead of to her.

Stop talking about your job; make her bring it up first. And once she does, “get in and get out.” For example,

Her: “So, what kind of work do you do?”
You: “I’m a doctor”
Her: “Oh really? What kind?”
You: “I’m a pediatrician…”

Notice how in this example you’re answering her without elaboration. Elaborating about your job turns women off, as they simply don’t care about its details. If she wants to know more about your job, she’ll ask. And odds are, she won’t ask more than two or three questions about your work. Read Bonus Tip #1 below for some great suggestions on what to talk about instead…

Bonus tip #1: Stand out from the pack by asking her these questions: Favorite childhood memories (what’s the most amount of trouble you got into? What’s your biggest regret growing up?). Women like a guy who shows depth. Are you at the place in your life where you thought you’d be when you were a child? Stay away from the typical questions of “Where did you grow up, what do you do for a living, what do you do in your spare time, etc.”

Bonus tip #2: Women love to talk about the past because that’s what they tend to dwell on.

Bonus tip #3: When asking about her ex (husband or boyfriend), the longer the answer she gives you, the more hung up she still is on him. So if she elaborates, she still has unresolved feelings. Beware! As most women have a hard time letting go…

Masters level dating tip #3

Do you think nothing of a woman texting you past 11pm who you’ve just met (up to the fourth date)? Probably not. But you should. Here’s why.

There are two reasons she’s doing this:

To find out if you’re with another woman. Because if you don’t respond, she’ll assume you are.
She wants to make sure the last woman you think about before you go to sleep is her.

Both of these are signs of a completely needy woman who’s got psychotic tendencies. Beware!

Celebrate the Attempt, Not the Rejection

Rejection is what men get used to once they’ve pursued women for a number of years. It happens often to every single man out there– even the best looking and rich, whom you might think never strike out.

Simply stated, rejecting men is what women *have* to do.

It’s their filtering system for weeding out the large amount of incoming interest they get on a daily and weekly basis.

The rejection women mete out still hurts most guys, most of the time. But what successful guys do is not allow the pain of rejection to linger. Rather, they “Feel the pain, then move on.”

That is the mindset you have to develop. Don’t deny the feeling that comes from being rejected; just get over it quickly.

Furthermore, following rejection it’s important to acknowledge the attempt you just made. Don’t discount that you just tackled the biggest hurdle in meeting new women: making the decision to walk up to them.

Thus…

Celebrate the attempt, not the rejection

When a women shows no interest, deflects your advance, tells you she’ll be right back but never returns, gives you a false phone number, or deploys any other of the many methods women use to reject men, it’s time to pat yourself on the back. One thing you can tell yourself that will speed the recovery of the ego blow (which is what it is) is:

She says “No,” I say “Next.”

Give yourself credit for attempting to meet this woman. Most men freeze up when thinking about approaching an attractive woman, so you just showed some fearless behavior compared to your hapless peers.

In fact, once you get used to approaching women, getting rejected isn’t that big of a deal. Your ego becomes numb to their reaction because you know that you invested so little, and that their instant-opinion has zero reflection on your worthiness as a person. After all, how can anyone’s character and potential be accurately judged in under a minute?

So get out there and approach women. Concentrate on the act of initiating conversations, not on the rejection that happens to every male on the planet.

Celebrate your attempts. Think like a salesman or a baseball player. Both fail the majority of the time, but rely on their repeated attempts to become ultimately successful.

When a woman says, “I used to model”

How many times have you been out with a woman, or seeing their online profile, where she brags that she models, or more commonly, used to modelToo many to count. These women are not 9’s or 10’s in almost every case, they’re 6’s through 8’s. You’ve probably scratched your head, trying to imagine this woman who does not have the “model” look in any way on the pages of a catalog or magazine. Being inquisitive, I’ve always asked what magazines or websites they were featured in, and let them know I want to see an example first hand. Some hemmed and hawed, some mentioned big names or agencies, but not one woman ever produced anything showing positively that they once modeled. Not one.

These women are putting out deliberately false advertising to make themselves look much better than they are. So why do women embellish themselves like this? It’s not like we men go around throwing around the “I used to model” card. Here’s why:

  1. She not as hot as she would like to be, and wants a guy to think they used to be hot. And what better way to do that than to say you were once a model?
  2. She knows a guy would love to brag to his friends that he’s dating a former model.
  3. It’s a huge ego boost for her to be able to wear the “modeling part-time” or “ex-model” crown around men– and almost impossible to prove she’s lying or greatly exaggerating.

If you want to have fun with this, next time you’re given the modeling line, express amazement and ask to see the actual magazine, TV commercial, or catalog she was in. 9.5 times out of 10, she’ll fail to come up with any proof other than a few stand-alone 4 by 6 inch prints. You’ve just called her bluff… way to go not taking her man-bait!

Sexting 101 for men

Women complain that most men are clueless about effectively sexting them. Seduction-by-text doesn’t just happen at night while sitting at home bored. True seduction starts slowly during the day and then builds… and then combusts at night.

Here are some useful female-approved texts to use:

“I want to feel your body pressed up against mine”
The words “fondle, tantalize, seduce, touch, feel, graze, grab, hold…”
“I want you”
“I want to feel your kiss”
“I love the way you…”
“I’d give anything to have you doing…. to me right now”
“Thinking of you, (insert your cute name for her)”
“I want to be inside of you” (only if you’ve actually been with her before)
Middle of day out of nowhere, “Thinking about you, I would give anything to have you right now.”

The biggest sexting mistake guys make is being too crass. Be sexual guys, but not offensive. No talking about the raw plumbing that makes sex work.

Bonus tip: Go read a romance novel, and you’ll discover that they turn women on *immensely* without using crass words. They all use words of seduction (see list above).

Remember, too, that all women will question whether this a text meant specifically for her, or one sent en mass to every girl in your address book. Especially if it’s early in dating. So be specific, with pet names, inside references, or something you two do to each other to let her know this is headed only to her phone.

Women want to feel needed and wanted; it’s what they thrive off of. They will love your sappy texts if you put some thought into it, eliminating any and all crass words. Think indirect, not direct, and paint a creative picture for her. I can promise you she will be bragging about you to her friends at work.

DON’Ts

And please, don’t use the words c*nt or pu**y. Ever. Women cringe at these two. Nor send a picture of your manhood, unless you want her laughing at it and forwarding it to her friends.