High Maintenance Bitch (n) – an emotionally needy and insecure woman who derives a large part of her happiness from material objects. Prone to lashing out when she doesn’t get what she wants from people or situations. Usually highly jealous of competition from other females.

In almost every case, the women who choose these oversized purses are very insecure, jealous, bitchy, and seek a man who will support their expensive lifestyle.

Last night was a perfect example. This 40-something woman with a fake tan and dressed exceptionally well, had a purse that could fit a small dog in it. She was out because her friend “insisted” she needed to go have some fun, because of course these HMBs would never  simply admit to coming out to a bar, they need excuse to be on the prowl.

I talked to her for a few minutes, and her first question for me was, “What do you do?” I called her out on it, asking “Really, your first question is what kind of job I have?” She backpedalled, as they usually do, and said “I guess I’m just not into dating etiquette today, I just got out of a two-year relationship on Wednesday.” (sympathy card was played on me)

I then answered her, “I’m unemployed and I live at home with my mom and grandma.” She stayed interested in our conservation only because I said it with a nonverbal wink. Had she thought I was serious, she would have been gone in no time flat.

After about 20 minutes of her lamenting her breakup two days prior, I decided to move on to a different area of the bar. She has other plans, “Can you drop me off at my home?” I about choked on a piece of ice. I’d spoken with her for no more than 20 minutes. “Sorry,” I said, “I’m not leaving the bar yet” and walked off as she gave me a bitchy look.

Women with big purses are usually very self-centered and like to talk about themselves nonstop, and can do so for up to an hour or more uninterrupted. They’ll ask you very few questions along the way, as they really aren’t that interested in you.

So, what’s inside the large purse? Some of things women put in their purses will literally shock you– their complete makeup kit, condoms, hair spray, perfume, hair brushes, tasors, pepper spray, change of clothes, bras, earbuds, sunglasses, sippy cups, nail files, curling irons, polish remover, contact solution, hand guns, tooth brush and tooth paste, floss, Kleenex, books, tape measure, underwear, shoes, water bottles, lotion, gum, a wallet full of maxed out credit cards, breath mints, more than just one mirror, snacks, jewelry, pens, tampons (even if she isn’t on her period), medication, and if it is an anti-depressant you better run! These women simply have no depth to them, except for the deep purse they lug around.

They’re often flashing a lifestyle that their own job could never support. So they enlist the help of Visa or Mastercard as a temporary stop gap until a man– we’ll call him “Sucker!”– comes into her life to bankroll her spending habits. Shallow, huh?

These women have to potential to drain the men who pursue them, mentally and financially. Mentally because they’re deeply insecure drama queens in most cases, and will question your every move; financially because your money will be flowing to them in large doses, as they don’t like working. They’re usually miserable in their job, and will find a reason to quit once they find a Sucker to take over the funding of their lifestyle.

God forbid you marry this type of woman, in a divorce they will bleed you dry with help from the female-biased family courts.

One of my best friends married years ago a woman that I, at the time, considered an impossible catch– 35, hot, blond, and a top executive in a food brand we all know (yes, she had a big purse). Well, to my friend’s surprise, after marrying her he discovered that she had $75,000 in credit card debt.

So even female high income earners, rare as they are on the dating scene, aren’t immune from the big purse rule. Think of that giant purse as carrying all the things that artificially enhance their beauty. The bigger the bag, the greater their inauthenticity.

Beware of women with big purses. Inside that purse is not only all the room she needs to stuff her loads of makeup and six shades of lipstick, but her insecurities as well. And don’t forget to give them a hard time for having a purse the size of a Yorkie. I actually ask these women, “Is it true what they say about women with big purses?” Then follow up with explaining what an HMB is. It’s funny watching them deny that they’re any of those things. I haven’t been slapped… not yet anyway.

The bottom line is this, if she needs a large purse to carry a massive amount of supplies to maintain herself for simple evening out, it will take a guy 2X or 3X the effort and expense to keep her happy over a lifetime. Enough will never be enough. HMBs are much like their purses, they are black holes and if you are not careful, you will be trapped inside, praying she will dump you out and set you free.

Rejection is what men get used to once they’ve pursued women for a number of years.

Simply stated, rejecting men is what women *have* to do.

It’s their filtering system for weeding out the large amount of incoming interest they get on a daily and weekly basis.

The rejection women mete out still hurts most guys, most of the time. But what successful guys do is not allow the pain of rejection to linger. Rather, they “Feel the pain, then move on.”

That is the mindset you have to develop. Don’t deny the feeling that comes from being rejected; just get over it quickly.

Furthermore, following rejection it’s important to acknowledge the attempt you just made. Don’t discount that you just tackled the biggest hurdle in meeting new women: making the decision to walk up to them.

Thus…

Celebrate the attempt, not the rejection

When a women shows no interest, deflects your advance, tells you she’ll be right back but never returns, gives you a false phone number, or deploys any other of the many methods women use to reject men, it’s time to pat yourself on the back. One thing you can tell yourself that will speed the recovery of the ego blow (which is what it is) is:

She says “No,” I say “Next.”

Give yourself credit for attempting to meet this woman. Most men freeze up when thinking about approaching an attractive woman, so you just showed some fearless behavior compared to your hapless peers.

In fact, once you get used to approaching women, getting rejected isn’t that big of a deal. Your ego becomes numb to their reaction because you know that you invested so little, and that their instant-opinion has zero reflection on your worthiness as a person. After all, how can anyone’s character and potential be accurately judged in under a minute?

So get out there and approach women. Concentrate on the act of initiating conversations, not on the rejection that happens to every male on the planet.

Celebrate your attempts. Think like a salesman or a baseball player. Both fail the majority of the time, but rely on their repeated attempts to become ultimately successful.

How many times have you been out with a woman, or seeing their online profile, where she brags that she models, or more commonly, used to model? Too many to count. These women are not 9’s or 10’s in almost every case, they’re 6’s through 8’s. You’ve probably scratched your head, trying to imagine this woman who does not have the “model” look in any way on the pages of a catalog or magazine. Being inquisitive, I’ve always asked what magazines or websites they were featured in, and let them know I want to see an example first hand. Some hemmed and hawed, some mentioned big names or agencies, but not one woman ever produced anything showing positively that they once modeled. Not one.

These women are putting out deliberately false advertising to make themselves look much better than they are. So why do women embellish themselves like this? It’s not like we men go around throwing around the “I used to model” card. Here’s why:

Jealousy Pawn (n): a man who is used by a woman as social validation in front of an individual or group in order to elicit jealousy.

Some women have the need to place men into social situations that will stir up jealousy in others. Women will invite you for a drink, a dinner, or just to hang out, and out of no-where appears a guy (for example) who’s wondering why the girl he’s obviously interested in is busy in conversation with another male.

I was out a few years ago with a female friend eating dinner. She was newly separated from her boyfriend of many years. Just a simple, one-on-one dinner catching up. About 10 minutes into the dinner, the ex-boyfriend shows up and slides into the booth next to her.

She never spoke of having invited a third party– her ex, at that– ahead of time. The awkwardness of a third person suddenly joining our private conversation was considerable. So, did she just simply forget to tell you that she also invited her ex to your dinner? Hardly.

She invited me to serve a distinct role as a Jealousy Pawn to create jealous attraction in her ex. And the funny thing is? It worked, apparently. They’re married today with two kids.

Another example is inviting a man that the woman has no desire in to a function, other than to show others the kind of catch she’s made. The poor guy comes along, thinking that she is interested in him. He’ll soon be left confused and disappointed when she kisses him on the cheek goodnight. She’ll sleep well that night, however, knowing that she “showed them” that she too is desired by men or can nab a good-looking fellow. You’ve just been “pawned.”

So, have you been played as a Jealousy Pawn in the past? If not, look out for it. And if you see it developing in front of your eyes, call her out on it and exit the scene.

Does having an expensive car get us more women?

We’re going to dispel one of the greatest dating myths ever, one that has robbed money from men for decades. The myth is this: By having a nice, expensive car or SUV, we’ll attract more women.

Have you ever met or picked up a woman while actually sitting in your new, fancy car (for those that have one)? How about while getting in and out at a valet podium? Or a woman’s number while barreling down the the highway?

Of course you haven’t. And neither have we– and John once owned a vintage 1952 Mercedes convertible.

OK, so maybe we don’t meet women while sitting in, getting in or out of, or driving our car– but what about when it’s time to take them out on dates? Does having a $85,000 Mercedes SL500 make her like you and want to sleep with you more so than the moment you made a connection in the first place?

Our own experiences have taught us about how women view us vis-a-vis the cars we drive. The lesson is that having a nice, expensive car does add some value to you as a “catch” or future boyfriend, but it doesn’t push her in your direction if she otherwise wasn’t that interested in you.

In other words, if the woman was intrigued by you in the first place, the type of car you drive– assuming it’s clean and in good condition– adds or subtracts very little from her opinion of you. If you’re driving a plush Cadillac Escalade, she’ll certainly take notice and will like that you apparently have an excellent job and can provide for yourself quite adequately.

But just the same, if you’re driving a 5 to 15-year-old car that’s in good to excellent condition, most women won’t lose any of the intrigue for you they first had.

Says Melanie, who summarizes the point well:

If he’s picking me up in a raggedy Ford pick-up truck that hasn’t been cleaned in years, you bet I’ll question whether this guy has his act together. But if he’s driving a clean 7 year old Honda Accord, with no trash or beer cans in it, I will think he’s a solid guy without the need to impress others.

For the 5-10% of women who turn their nose up at men who drive anything less than a late-model European sedan or sports car, do you really want to be associating with somebody so shallow and materialistic? Both the founders of this site currently drive cars between 5 and 13 years old, and we can tell you unequivocally that our cars make no difference to the quality of the women that we date.

Women’s desire for us almost never starts with a material object. It starts with attraction and connection. So if you have that bond to start with, the kind of clean car you have really makes little to no difference. And if she doesn’t find you interesting, then that Ferrari she later discovers you have won’t suddenly spark attraction out of thin air– sorry.

So before you spend $50,000 on that new BMW 5-series, think what kind of huge burden you’re really taking on. How many nice vacations or dinners could you have instead with that money? Or if you invested it instead? Men the world over will forever continue to buy into the rolling “babe magnets” illusion and in the process go up to their eyeballs in debt.

But not you.

You know that– except perhaps in Los Angeles ;)– women care far more about the kind of guy you are than the image you’re trying to project out on the road.

Women complain that most men are clueless at how to effectively sext them. Seduction-by-text doesn’t just happen at night while sitting at home bored. True seduction starts slowly during the day and then builds… and then combusts at night.

Here are some useful, female-approved, examples to use:

“I want to feel your body pressed up against mine”
The words “fondle, tantalize, seduce, touch, feel, graze, grab, hold…”
“I want you”
“I want to feel your kiss”
“I love the way you…”
“I’d give anything to have you doing…. to me right now”
“Thinking of you, (insert your cute name for her)”
“I want to be inside of you” (only if you’ve actually been with her before)
Middle of day out of nowhere, “Thinking about you, I would give anything to have you right now.”

The biggest sexting mistake guys make is being too crass. Be sexual guys, but not offensive. No talking about the raw plumbing that makes sex work.

[boxinfo]Bonus tip: Go read a romance novel, and you’ll discover that they turn women on *immensely* without using crass words. They all use words of seduction (see list above)[/boxinfo]

Remember, too, that all women will question whether this a text meant specifically for her, or one sent en mass to every girl in your address book. Especially if it’s early in dating. So be specific, with pet names, inside references, or something you two do to each other to let her know this is headed only to her phone.

Women want to feel needed and wanted; it’s what they thrive off of. They will love your sappy texts if you put some thought into it, eliminating any and all crass words. Think indirect, not direct, and paint a creative picture for her. We can promise you she will be bragging about you to her friends at work.

DON’Ts

And please, don’t use the words c*nt or pu**y. Ever. Women cringe at these two. Nor send a picture of your manhood, unless you want her laughing at it and forwarding it to her friends.

Woman very rarely approach men.

But what women very often will do, and it goes on right under our noses without us even knowing it, is what is called Strategic Positioning.

When a woman wants to meet a man, she won’t go up to him and introduce herself in most cases. This goes against everything she’s been taught. So what does she do? One of her tactics is to get within a radius of 10 feet or less from you, and hope that you notice her. The more shy she is, the less you’ll notice what is even happening. You usually won’t get eye contact with her, and you’ll be completely oblivious to the fact that she just planted herself for you to take notice.

The more confident and assertive she is, the more clues you’ll get that you’re “cleared for the approach.” Some clues include catching her eye, her shoulders and feet pointing in your direction, or her flicking/stroking her hair or other body language signals.

So, how can you tell a girl is Strategically Positioning herself, or just happens to be there in your vicinity?

Clue #1: You saw her standing at the other side of the room just a minute earlier. Now she’s only a few feet away.
Clue #2: She’s by herself, she’s nearby, and you just caught her giving you a quick look
Clue #3: At a bar: she tries ordering her drink right next to where you are against the bar
Clue #4: She’s nearby, flicking her hair back as she looks in your direction (but not necessarily at you. Usually they look over their shoulder and aim their gaze on a plane that would be higher than normal)

So, keep your radar dish up when in a room, bar, or party where women are present. Notice where women stand. Notice where they were were, and where they are now (5 feet off your left shoulder?).

What you don’t want happening is to blow the opportunity to catch women deploying Strategic Positioning on you. It makes subsequently walking up to them easy, as you know you’re quite possibly already “pre-approved for an approach.”

Now that you know about it, start noticing where women stand and position themselves– not just around you, but others as well. You’ll never look at women in a bar, party, or group environment the same again.

It works, yet is so subtle a woman will never know she’s even being tested…

Next time you take your girl to a restaurant, study how she treats the waiter or waitress. Is she friendly and considerate of this complete stranger, or is she rude and nags about the smallest service or food nuisance– something over which she’s probably not even paying for?

It doesn’t have to be drastic for you to be able to take away some valuable information. For instance, take a woman who complains about an insignificant annoyance like the soup isn’t as chunky as she liked. Or one who, with ire, quickly complains about too many olives on the pizza instead of just picking them off.

With your new-found radar up, you can read right into your date: she’s likely high maintenance, a complainer, and could be an outright nag.

A classy, easy-going woman, meanwhile, will treat the wait staff with the utmost respect and kindness. If there is something wrong with the food or service, she’ll calmly and politely point it out. Nothing more.

Things do go wrong at restaurants, and be glad when they do. Because how she reacts to these little bumps says a lot about her overall temperament.

Since learning this “waitress test” a few years ago, we have been amazed how telling it is. We’ve sat back too many times to count, amazed at how women can ignore, brush aside, and outright disrespect waiters and waitresses.

If women act this way towards someone who’s trying to be helpful enough to earn some pay that night, how will they act towards other people who are not acting in a service capacity?

What we’ve learned is,
The way a woman treats the wait staff in a restaurant is the way she treats others in general.

Sure, she doesn’t treat you this way, as she knows how to play nice to the man who’s the object of her affections. But when she’s in a restaurant, her guard is down– she’s only thinking of her behavior vis-a-vis you.

So try this test the next time you’re out on a date. And be prepared to learn a few things– hopefully positive– about your woman.

What traits do women desire in a man?

Confidence

This is the biggie. It’s by far the most important trait a man can have in the eyes of women. Women do not like uncertain, insecure, directionless, wimpy men.

Women can’t resist a confident man. He takes initiative, makes plans, and doesn’t seek approval from her. He’s never acting needy. He has a goal set for his career, knows what he wants out of life, and confidently moves forward.

Here is classic example of the wrong way to ask a woman out: You call her up and ask “What kind of food do you like,” or “Where would you like to eat tonight?” Never get caught showing such spineless behavior. Step up to the plate and make some plans!

Assuming she’s agreed to meet up with you, the correct way to ask her out is always with a statement, such as “Let’s meet up at 7pm, I’ll pick you up.” As an added bonus, tell her what kind of attire she should wear, and mention that it’s a “surprise” or “you’ll see” to her questioning where the destination is… she’ll love the anticipation.

Calm and Controlled

Have you ever seen in movies an actor who can have seemingly any woman he likes? James Bond, for instance. Now, consider his demeanor. How calm and controlled is he?

Is he a nervous wreck? Does he try too hard? Does he lean in on women and talk their ears off? Laughing at everything they say? Or act excited and desperate to win the woman over?

Of course not.

What attracts women is a calm, non-hyper man, who is controlled with his actions.

Women have great radar for guys who are deep within, desperate or needy. Acting too excited and trying too hard to gain a woman’s attention will kill your chances with her.

Comedy

Women love to laugh. It doesn’t mean you have to have the humor of a comedian. It does, though, mean keeping your dates fun, cracking a few jokes, being sarcastic, and keeping the atmosphere light.

When women are asked what it is about a man they like, the most common answer they give is that he’s “funny,” or “he makes me laugh.”

A date is not a job interview. It’s a chance to find out about somebody, and gauge the chemistry between the two of you. By inserting some fun, you’re subconsciously telling a woman that you’re secure with yourself in the company of women and are enjoyable to be around.

Creativity

Women love it when men put some thought into a date. How many women love theater, for instance? Most do. Yet most guys don’t venture out on a limb and try something unique to entertain himself and his date.

A great way to get out of a rut of taking girls to the same places is to view the weekly entertainment inserts in your local newspaper that list the happenings around town. Read through that and get some ideas. Pick an activity or spot at random if you have to.

Get creative with where you take women, and you will leave her surprised with a smile. You’ll separate yourself from your competition.

Creativity is also important in the bedroom. Do you have just 3 positions in your repertoire and “steps” that she knows by heart? Change things up.

Buy a book showing 100 different positions or ideas, and try 3 new ones out on her each time. If you put forth the effort to also be considerate and caring (hey, another C) of her sexual fulfillment– and not just yours– you’ll be a partner she can’t stop thinking about.

So start thinking about this Creativity thing in everything you do and plan with women, and you’ll be one adventurous guy she can’t get enough of.

Challenge

Don’t be so easy to read and predictable.

Women will never admit it, or even know it consciously, but they like a man who’s a bit mysterious; not a man who calls them twice a day and whose intentions are fully obvious (full steam ahead!). This bores them.

Women talk about how predictable most guys are. They always answer on the first ring, or they call right back as soon as they hear their voicemail, for instance. They are always available when comparing schedules for an upcoming date, always agree with the woman’s opinion, are always available on the weekend for her, and always yield to their every suggestion.

Quite simply, these guys will not say “no”– and in the process show no challenge to the woman whatsoever.

Become scarce at times, and stop acting like you’re on a schedule with her. After all, a man who has many plates spinning will be this way naturally.

If you’re not this fortunate yet, don’t fret… simply start acting like it. Eventually, once you’ve followed the advice on LearnWomen.com, you will behave this naturally, and will never look at dating– or yourself–the same way again